True Blood 2x12 "Beyond Here Lies Nothin' "

[trillianastra]

So, um, WTF?

Well, the whole Maryann issue got resolved. Pretty quickly, actually. We pick up right where we left off last time, with the OMGWTF IS THAT EGG, and then Minionised!Lafayette makes Sookie put on a bridesmaid's dress.

It then transpires that this whole Maryann/God Who Comes thing is being set up like a wedding. A really, really frakking messed up wedding. Which for some reason involves Maryann filching Gran Stackhouse's wedding dress, on top of everything else. Also, in a twisted yet kinda brilliant move, Maryann figured out that forcing Sookie to be involved will bring Sam running to rescue her... so basically, Sook is bait.

Unfortunately for everyone's least favourite maenad, her distaste for all things vampire means that she didn't figure the local vamps into her plan. So Bill was able to a) get to Sam first and b) work out a plan with Sam to finish her off once and for all.

I have to say, it got SCARY there, and until I figured out their plan there was a moment when I really thought Sam was going to die... but THEN, THEN...

Well, Sookie pushed over the meat-statue-whatever-the-frak, Maryann got pissed, her claws came out and she chased Sookie into the woods... and then a big, impressive-looking white bull comes walking out of the shadows. Maryann goes :O and obviously thinks it's her God Who Comes, whatever... and keeps thinking that, even when the bull basically kinda starts disembowelling her. She actually keeps talking about her being the vessel and being ready to die...

...right up to when the bull turns into a very naked and very fierce-looking Sam, who pulls her heart right out of her chest, at which point she actually does die and goes all black and gross and looks like she's been dead centuries rather than a few seconds. EW.

ANYWAY, the moment Maryann dies, all the Minions get their free will back, and SAM (oh god, Sam) puts being traumatised on hold long enough to help Jason get everyone the hell off Sookie's front lawn, while Sookie reassures Tara, goes "O-K, is that Mike Spencer on my kitchen floor?" and gets comforted by Bill for a little bit before dawn.

And all that is the FIRST half of the episode.

The second half, if anything, is even more HUH?

So, the next day a whole bunch of people are at Merlotte's, and people are sharing a succession of increasingly insane theories about what happened (aliens were mentioned. Also, LSD and the liberal media... I don't even know, sorry). Sam was being quietly awesome and carrying on for the sake of everyone else, like he does, and even contributed his own complete fabrication, involving a batch of vodka that was 100% ethanol, which was funny. All I can say is... OK, yeah, that doesn't say much for small-town intelligence that anyone bought that, because 100% ethanol is slightly, uh, POISONOUS. As in, it kills you.

Anyway, so Sam asks Sookie to look after the bar for a few days, 'cause he needs a break after everything that happened... and then some Random Delivery Girl shows up and hands Sookie a bag, saying that she has "one classy admirer". So Sookie's like :O and excuses herself to go outside and open it... and it's this gorgeous dress, and a note from Bill basically saying that he owes her a night out (which he does, really) and would she please wear the dress. AWWWWWWWWWWWW.

The moment gets ruined by Eggs, who has basically spent the episode having a bit of a Lady Macbeth moment, and who persuades Sookie to help him get his memories of the blackouts back. On the bright side, at least now we know for SURE that Maryann was using Eggs to kill people. Unfortunately, the Saga of Eggs comes to an end when he later runs up to Andy outside Merlotte's, holding Maryann's knife, and confesses to killing Miss Jeanette, Daphne, and Sam (I guess he was a bit confused about Sam...). Andy's like "OK, OK, put the knife down...", which only makes him more insistent, and... well, I don't like this, but I can see how from an outside perspective it looked like Eggs was threatening Andy. So, that's what Jason saw, right before he shot Eggs in the head.

(my inner rational side was impressed at Jason's marksmanship, though)

So, Jason freaks out re: he just killed a guy, and ANDY, proving that YES, HE IS AWESOME THANK YOU VERY MUCH, takes the gun off him and tells everyone that Eggs confessed but was threatening him and that he shot him in self-defence. (This is just one of several occurrences this ep that made me go YAY ANDY a lot. Including the diet-coke-with-lime incident.) So people come out, Tara's all upset... and really, I was like SERIOUSLY, GIRL, HE WAS NO GOOD FOR YOU. Also, writers... yeah, we need JB Du Rone, stat, OK? Get to it. *cracks whip*

NOW.

Sam, on his Self-Discovery Trip, has gone to see his adoptive parents. They seem... er, sorry, but actually kinda dull. Anyway, his dying adoptive father gives him the names of his birth parents, who are apparently "bad people". This should be interesting...

Meanwhile at the Old Compton Place, Jessica is going out, as is Bill (separately, mind), and there's a moment of utter cuteness between them. Then Bill goes to see Sookie, and Jessica goes to see "Hoyt". I put it like that because actually, no, she's not going to apologise to Hoyt (who's standing on the doorstep looking forlorn, poor boy). Actually, she's making out with a Random Trucker and biting him. Yeahhhhh. Bill is gonna be so pissed...

Speaking of which.. Bill is perfect. Seriously. All his 'flaws', yeah, I just forget them. Because a) he got Sookie that dress, b) he booked out an entire restaurant just for them, c) he was a total gentleman, and d) HE ONLY BLOODY PROPOSED.

(OK, so tiny problem - in the books, aren't vamp/human marriages illegal? Also, WTH is up with the tickets to Vermont?)

Understandably, Sookie freaks out, because her life's kinda all over the place right now. She heads out to the restroom to have a breather and clean up, and decides that yes, she does want to marry him. Unfortunately, when she goes out to TELL him that... he's been kidnapped by MYSTERIOUS PEOPLE. THIS IS NOT GOOD. (I may have actually screamed IRL when it happened.... thank god there's no-one else here right now)

So, uh, yeah. That's pretty much it. And I kinda want S3, uh, NOW, if only for ALCIDE.

...Oh, wait, I forgot. There was a teeny bit of Eric this week. It was largely hilarious. See, Eric got stuck playing vampire Yahtzee with Sophie-Anne too. He didn't seem to be enjoying himself, poor boy. Anyway, Sophie-Anne was all GRRRRR about Bill knowing about Eric selling V - apparently it's HERS, which is a bit WTF - and he said he'd 'take care of' Bill. Ominous. And when the issue of Bill&Sookie came up, a) he dodged the question of whether or not he's in love with Sookie (HAH) and b) HADLEY! When Eric said that yes, Bill loves her, Hadley looked up and was all "He does?". It was an AWWW moment.

That scene also made me think. Sophie-Anne's fangs are bigger than any of the other vamps, and IIRC, Jessica's are quite small. So, I'm thinking that fang size is related to either status, age, or both. Or, I could be wrong. Eh...

Comments

[bradeatspeeps.livejournal.com]

I don't have much time to say anything else except: 1) the Queen's fangs are HIDEOUS, and 2) vampire/human marriages are ONLY legal in Vermont, hence the plane tickets there to get married. :D

[trillianastra.livejournal.com]

OK, so that makes sense about the marriages. Obviously I missed that...