I wrote some original fic!

[trillianastra]

So here's the beginning of something that I started writing the other day... all you really need to know is that it's set sometime in the near future, in an America devastated by a catastrophic plague. "government" and "society" are things that have basically disappeared.

any comments/concrit/suggestions would be great!

(WARNINGS: trauma-induced amnesia in the protagonist)

**

 “Is he alive?”

“His pulse is strong. Are we safe?”

“They’ve been here, but they must be long gone. It looks like there was a struggle… they must’ve come across this guy, knocked him out and taken his supplies.”

“I’ll ask, when he wakes up.”

I opened my eyes, and saw two women looking down at me. One, with curly black hair and a kind face, was kneeling next to me. She realised that I was awake and smiled. “Hey,” she said. “How are you feeling?"
 

“My head hurts… otherwise I think everything’s in the right place.”

“Good. Can you tell me your name?”

“Jake,” I said. “Jake Walker.”

“Nice to meet you, Jake. You can call me Sarge. This is LT,” she indicated the other woman, standing over us in what looked like military fatigues, with a bow slung over one shoulder. She nodded at me, brusquely, and something clicked into place for me. Sarge. LT. Military fatigues…

“Are you guys… army? I thought the military had disbanded.”

Sarge smiled wider, and the corner of LT’s mouth quirked in something that I guess you’d call amusement. “It did, honey,” Sarge told me.

“So you’re not? I mean… you weren’t? Before?”

“I was a paediatric nurse, hon, not a soldier.”

“But…”

“My name?”

“Yeah,” I said, nodding gratefully.

“...is Marisa Sargent. Sarge is a nickname I picked up in college.”

“Cool nickname.”

“We need to get moving,” LT said. “I don’t want to be out here when it gets dark. Should we take him back to the bunker?”

“I think we can trust him.”

“You think we can trust everyone.”

Sarge just looked at her partner, who shrugged.

“Okay, we’ll trust him.” Looking at me, she added, “Come on, then. Try and keep up.”

She reached out a hand and helped me stand up, and only moments later we were heading away from the clearing where they’d found me.

The bunker wasn’t too far from the clearing, a fact which seemed to worry LT, though she said nothing. Not much of it was visible from the outside, except for a rusting metal door set into the side of the hill. Sarge must have seen the look on my face, because she nudged me gently and said, “It’s better than it looks from here, I promise.”

“It doesn’t look like much.”
“That’s the idea. If it looks like this, fewer people are going to get curious and try to get in.”
It was a good idea, and I told her as much. While we spoke, LT opened the door.

“Are you coming?” she called out.

Sarge flashed me a grin, and we hurried over.  She was right, by the way, the inside of the bunker was more impressive. Well, a little more, anyway. There must have been a generator, because there was electric light – something I hadn’t seen for weeks – and a boiler for hot water that Sarge pointed out proudly.