trillianastra: (Default)
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I don't know about "critical" bystander.... I'm definitely on the sidelines on this one but I stopped being actually critical a while back. It was too much pressure. These days I stick to my Golden Rule of Twilight:

I leave that seething mass of batshit-craziness well enough alone, and it does the same for me.

(also, I actually read the actual book of Eclipse. It was not exactly what I would call good. It's also the reason I went back to getting my Twilight knowledge from [livejournal.com profile] cleolinda's recaps. less painful that way.)
trillianastra: (hardison- not the average geek)
So, yeah, vampire novels are EVERYWHERE these days. Ditto movies. I think we all know why.

Werewolves - up 'til now - seem to have been a bit left out.

I say "until now" because The Wolfman with Benicio del Toro just came out.

It's awesome. And also has Hugo Weaving and Anthony Hopkins in. And... well, no offence to the newly un-jailbait Taylor Lautner but... Sharkboy with airbrushed muscles and some mediocre CGI is not my idea of a werewolf... *not ranting about sparklepires today*...

but The Wolfman gets it right. It's dark and scary and bloody and more than a few people get torn into bits (there is one scene where there are just these bits of organs and stuff scattered over the ground, srsly). Also, without the prosthetics Benicio del Toro is... definitely not unattractive.

Also, the heroine (who does actually deserve the word, btw) rocks. Hard. She's smart, caring and able to find the resolve to do what she has to (despite not wanting to)... and oh, this movie's set in 1894. Therefore, screw you, Bella Swan. Gwen can kick your whiny ass any day.


AWESOME TRAILERS THIS WEEK:

Clash of the Titans, with Sam Worthington in non-giant-blue-person form. Also, GIANT FREAKING SCORPIONS. It looks fun in a really stupid kind of way.

Kick-Ass. Comic book movie, based off of a GN by Mark Millar (guy who wrote Wanted). IS GOING TO BE FANTASTIC. This is all.

~

Now, I have to go watch, in no particular order, Lost, Supernatural, Caprica and Leverage. And also remind myself that I will not get upset on the 14th. Believe it or not, the reason for that has absolutely nothing to do with Valentine's Day, which is so insignificant to me personally that it doesn't even register, and everything to do with a character I still miss rather a lot.
trillianastra: (tony stark thinks you should be writing)
Well. New Moon is, surprisingly, actually kind of a good movie.

I know. Surprising, huh?

Admittedly, the reasons I enjoyed it were, in no particular order:

- the sheer cheesiness that descended any time anything resembling a Cullen was onscreen
- the Quileutes. Specifically, the really buff werewolf Quileutes.
- Charlie Swan, who actually is just awesome.
- Edward's planned Suicide By Public Sparkling.
- the Volturi being... well, mostly just plain freaky.

Other things I should mention:

- the Ghost!Edwards that Bella kept seeing whenever she did anything reckless. I mean, SERIOUSLY?
- Alice. We-ell... the Ferrari was cool.
- Jasper looked considerably less constipated than in the last movie. And for a moment, I think he actually SMILED.
- ...okay, so maybe I saw a teeny, teeny bit of Bella/Carlisle there. Just a teeny bit...
- I had a "wait, is that..." moment with the Volturi. 'Cause, you know Marcus? Yeah, that's the guy who was Alistair v2.0 on Supernatural. And TWO characters on Sanctuary.
- I mentioned the totally hot werewolf guys already, right?

That's... about it, really. Oh, except for the OMGCLIFFHANGER ending, which was (IMO) the crappiest and least romantic proposal of marriage ever. He could at LEAST have gone down on one knee. It was, however, mildly hilarious that the kids at the front of the cinema where I saw the movie went AWWWWWW when the film just cut to black and then, oops, CREDITS. Still, I imagine they won't have to wait too long. Eclipse will probably be out... next year sometime, going by the current schedule.


(Oh, and while I was walking home from the cinema, I was working out how to write a Twilight/True Blood fusion fic without handwaving the obvious differences between the realTB vamps and the Cullens. I think I figured out something, too...)
trillianastra: (Default)
I Knew It

See? I said he was a creeeeeeeepy [CENSORED] notvampire.

Even Robert Pattinson himself agrees.


If only there was some way to convince all the Twihards or whatever the hell they call themselves these days.... *muses*

(also, I do not get to use the word 'vindicated' nearly enough, so I'm making the most of it while I can)
trillianastra: (I beg your pardon? [eric])
In my local bookstore recently, I found that someone's done a reprint of Wuthering Heights. Now, ordinarily, that'd be a good thing, it's a good book and more people should read it.

Unfortunately, when I looked a little closer, I realised that a) the book was in the same section of the store as Twilight, b) it had a suspiciously Twilight-like cover design and c) there was a little rosette thing saying "Bella and Edward's favourite book" on the front.

When I done WTFing, I also found that the blurb described it as "the greatest love story ever told". This is frankly very worrying, because Wuthering Heights ISN'T really a love story - Heathcliff and Cathy's relationship is about as messed up as a relationship can get, and Heathcliff himself is not some romantic fairytale prince who's going to ride in on a white horse and rescue [Cathy/the reader]. He's a dangerous, moody, obsessive bastard, really. But then... I guess the Twilight fans are used to that, aren't they?

It seems that some moneyhungry twat publishing-industry person thinks that it's a GOOD idea to sell Wuthering Heights to the legions of Twilight fans out there. Which makes me very concerned that a whole generation of young girls are going to grow up with a very twisted idea of what an adult relationship should be.

Also, as with many things Twilight, it does make me want to stab things. Hence I shall try to forget all about it and go watch The Truth About Demons on Youtube.
trillianastra: (the icon of rassilon)
So, Twilight has finally been released this side of the pond.

Curiosity and some good reviews drove me to go and see said movie. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I thought I'd either hate it or spend the whole time laughing at how terrible it was.

...

Thing is, I didn't. Because (and no-one is more surprised than me that I'm saying this)... it's actually a good movie.

(Mostly, anyway)

There are some things that weren't too good, but overall, it was an enjoyable two hours. My absolute favourite, the one person who made the whole thing better, was...

Charlie.

Billy Black was cool too. And Jacob.

Also, Carlisle is pretty. Oh, so pretty, damn him.

(the teeniest of gripes... Edward mentioned that Carlisle turned him when he was dying of the Spanish 'flu in 1918. All very well... except the Spanish 'flu epidemic was in 1919.

Facts. Not that hard to check, people.)

Oh and... Kristen Stewart did pretty well with Bella, too. She seemed less of a Mary Sue than in the books. Of course, it's virtually impossible for her to be more of a Mary Sue.... nvm.

Overall: I'm giving Twilight(the movie) three-and-a-half stars. Not bad, mostly good performances, but room for improvement. (Also, I'm actually looking forward to New Moon now, if only because that will mean MORE JACOB.)

...I'm now going to watch more of The War Machines with One and Dodo and Polly and Ben.... *slides away*
trillianastra: (castiel hotter than dean?)
Well. I said I was going to try and rewrite Twilight, with the aim of making it... well, into something resembling a decent piece of writing.

Tonight's news is: Chapter One... is now done. I think it's a pretty good opener, but then I would think that, wouldn't I?

Anyway. Chapter One is under the cut, check it out if you want. Concrit is appreciated.

Project: Rewrite Twilight - Chapter One )

~~~~~

So.... thoughts? Concrit?
trillianastra: (Default)
It is possible that I am, in fact, insane.

But having read (some of) Stephenie Meyer's books and thought to myself "I could totally do better than this", I've decided to try.

This decision has manifested as an attempt to rewrite Twilight. If it is successful I may move on to the other three at a later date.

Unfortunately, Project: Rewrite is going to involve de-Sue-ifying Bella Swan, and some drastic changes to plot and character interrelationships.

I can tell you one thing now, however: Project: Rewrite will contain absolutely NO SPARKLING VAMPIRES at any point. Vampires, yes. Sparkling, ABSOLUTELY NOT.

When I have a first chapter, I'll post it here for concrit/reading.

(On a completely unrelated note:

Last night I had a very surreal dream that involved Anton van Leeuwenhoek, Stephen Fry and Adam Monroe from Heroes discussing molecular cell biology. I have no idea what that means, but it does lend support to the "I'm insane" theory.)
trillianastra: (Default)
I have a feeling I might come to regret it, but I've started reading the Twilight books by Stephenie Meyer. Currently, I've finished New Moon and am half-way through Eclipse.

Technically, the situation is not good. The writing wavers between dreadful, poor, and not-quite-so-bad-if-you-try-not-to-think-about-it. But honestly, it's not the writing that bugs me but the concept/characters.

Ranting ahead. Abandon all hope, ye Twilight fans that enter here )

Oh, one other point. These books are ridiculously, ridiculously sexist. Just the existence of Bella Swan makes Emmeline Pankhurst and Mary Wollstonecraft spin in their respective graves.

Bram Stoker's probably not very happy, either.

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